I'm having insomia at this time of the night and i freaking need to wake up at 6.45am. tired and restless. having too much thoughts in my brain, too cluttered, too clouded. probably because it's the time of the year when i start questioning myself and reflecting about the past 1 year.. needs decluttering! been thinking quite a lot lately. been reflecting about how much time i have wasted for the past years. been feeling in the state where i hasn't been living up to my own expectations or rather a living in denial situation.
It's time to make some changes. time to stop procrastinating about the decisions i should be making. somehow, questions start to resurface again. some things need to be justified.. corrected and lived through for whatever reasons. it's time to grow up and stop being so emo over things. *deletes the old blog entries for a fresh start*
This holiday will be a busy busy one.. i just realise how tight my schedule is when i start filling up my oh-so-dusty organiser. and somehow, don't know why i'm not really looking forward to training. i wonder if it's the distance (i need car..) or is it me (always this part of me where there's a why am i still bowling factor) or maybe it's the fact that i'm working like later~
Realised it's not good to be too free.. cause it just makes me question myself "what the hell..?!". I think i'm having some madness withdrawal syndrome or something. I keep having this feeling that there's something i forget to do but i still can't figure out.. alrights, i need to get some grip of myself.